Monthly Archives: September 2014

When did my ovaries and marital status become public property?

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I am an odd human being, you see, I am in my 30’s (been in them a while) and I do not have children and nor am I married and this seems to warrant much bewilderment among, well, everyone. It seems it is very unusual indeed to be this person, I don’t think it is, but the way people act you would think that it is as unusual as an Alien landing on Earth. I have a boyfriend and we live together but it seems this isn’t enough in the world of people. I am sure there are many women out there who can relate to this, but I am ALWAYS being asked, ‘when are you getting married?’, ‘do you want to get married?’, ‘do you think he will propose?’ ‘does he want to get married?’ ‘do you think you will have children’ ‘do you want children’…..you get the picture.

Of course it isn’t just me that suffers with these questions, married women without children are asked the child question, married women with 1 child are asked if they want more children, pregnant women are asked when the next one will be. Men do not have this problem, men talk to men about football and boobs and computers. Have you ever seen a man get into conversation with another man and ask him, ‘so then mate, when you having children?’. I am not saying it doesn’t happen but certainly not as frequently as it does for us women.

It seems that you hit your 30’s (I don’t remember it being a frequent problem in my 20’s) and your ovaries are suddenly everyone else’s business. Why do complete strangers feel it is ok to question my marriage and child preferences? Those who have read my blog or who know me, will know that I am not a secretive person, I am very open, perhaps a bit too much sometimes. I would love to be one of those mysterious types, the sort of person others find intriguing because I am such an unknown entity, but sadly I just like to reveal stuff about myself whether or not people want to know!

I am not saying I am completely innocent, I have probably been guilty of asking women myself in the past, but since I have been the subject of much interrogation I am very aware of it and do not ask unless it seems it is appropriate. Plus, who knows what a woman may be going through, how do you know she isn’t trying for a baby but is having difficulty conceiving, bringing up the subject could cause a great deal of upset and hurt.

But what baffles me the most is people’s incessant desire to know such things, is it because they are a bit stressed with their brood and want you to be too, or are they indescribably happy and want you to have the same happiness, or are they just plain nosy? Whatever it is, it drives me crazy and I don’t know what the fascination is. It just seems that unless you are married with two children over the age of 5 you are not immune to the questioning on marriage and children.

What I will say is that I am not married (or engaged, noooo of course this doesn’t bother me ;)! ), but it also means I am not saving for a wedding and can instead spend my money on shoes, clothes and lovely holidays. I will also say that currently I do not have children which means that I can have lovely lie-ins, I can go on holiday on a whim (I would never do that, I can only cope with planned spontaneity, but I could if I wanted!) I can go out to dinner any day of the week without planning it, instead of buying toys I can buy more shoes and clothes and best of all I can drink my beloved bubbly any day of the week if I want to and if I have a hangover, the day is all mine!

Marriage

Woooo I did it!

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That was the 10K run on Sunday, where Mike and I ran for Beating Bowel Cancer in the Run to the Beat event in Wembley. It was our second 10k of the year, which in itself is shocking, as I never even thought I would do one, let alone 2 but it was a good goal to work towards. Now, I certainly wasn’t as fit or in as good shape as I was for our Bupa 10k, the training kind of fell by the wayside over Summer as I preferred to drink bubbly in the garden than go out and exercise, but I was pretty confident I could run the course.

That was until we received the race pack only to find out the course had some hilly parts, I was actually relying on a nice flat course thinking this would get me round quicker, but nope, wonderful hills awaited us. But still, I thought I could still run the 10k with hills, if a little slower.

On the Friday and Saturday before race day I had been to Surrey for work, so lots of travelling and walking (you can see the excuses forming!) and no time for short training runs. On race day, we were up at 5.30am to ensure we could get to Wembley in time. A quick banana and some water en route and we’re raring to go. A quick toilet stop for me (all Portaloos) only to discover my bag had leaked, this is a fairly rare occurrence, stoma appliances are pretty good and tend to be quite hardy. However, every now and then a leak happens and you just have to deal with it as best you can. Always having a change of bags and a clean pair of knickers on your person is usually a good idea (a clean pair of knickers is never a bad idea even if you don’t have a stoma, that and a toothbrush, you just never know!). Fortunately I had caught the leak before it got too bad and had a change of bag. Changing my bag in a Portaloo toilet is not something I wish to experience again, not particularly easy but I managed. I think it affected me psychologically though and something seemed to switch mentally despite my positive pep talk to myself. I also had a foot injury from a run the week before but was determined to run anyway as it didn’t feel that bad.

So, the race starts and we’re away, Mike is in a different group to me (the faster ones!) so I know he is well away before I have started. I did the first 1k ok, as it was all downhill and then it all just went horribly wrong. I had a stitch, I had to stop at 5k for first aid because my toes were covered in blood, I would like to be dramatic and say it was a huge gash in my toes caused by fast running but it was just a tiny cut that bled a lot! Then after that point it seemed to be all uphill, horrible steep mountains which just felt impossible. But I hobbled, jogged & walked and eventually got round. Perhaps if someone had yelled that there was a bottle of champagne at the finish line I may have got a sprint on, but it was just a few cheerers trying to encourage us slow ones (it’s a bit embarrassing) across the finish line. But at least I can say ‘Wooooo I did it!’

Mike did incredibly well, me, not so good, but I was determined to finish the course no matter what. I actually hated every minute of it but I think I may do it again next year, just to improve my time (which won’t be hard) and because it will also seem like a good idea at the time.

You will be relieved to hear that the champagne came out upon arriving home, followed by a very delicious burger, so all was not lost. Now, I have 7 weeks until the next 10K, and I am DETERMINED to do this one well!

homer

The running bug hasn’t quite caught me yet..

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I am participating in my second 10k event this Sunday, which isn’t bad for someone, who until this year, had barely taken a brisk walk, let alone a run. However, I did it (just check out my previous blogs) and I have decided to do another one. This time it is Run to the Beat in Wembley, apparently there is a hill in the route, I was rather banking on a flat course as, let’s face it, it is much less traumatic to have a continuous flat path.

I am in nowhere near as good shape as I was back in May and have let the running slide somewhat. After getting back from holiday in June, I spent weeks thinking about getting back to it but decided a cold glass of bubbly in the garden was a much more inviting idea. So I signed up for another 10k to get me motivated again. Everyone says that you get the running bug, especially after your first event, so why I am still waiting to catch it? So, I have also signed up to a local 10K at the start of November, I figure having another one to do will keep me out running and prevent me from lazing on the sofa. It will be 3 in total this year which is a great achievement for me. Mike is also running both of these too but he is much more motivated and sporty than me.

You may think that I must have caught the running bug to have signed up to a further two 10K’s but I really haven’t. I don’t particularly enjoy running and I am not really that good at it, so why am I doing it? I think I am still hoping I may catch that elusive bug, but it also goes hand in hand with my continuous diet and desire to lose weight. Even though I dislike it and I pant and puff my way around and want to stop at every moment, I do feel good when I’ve done it, I like the achievement of having improved my time or had a run that didn’t feel like I was going to die at every moment. Sometimes, it’s just enough to know I have overtaken the walking people.

For now, I will aim to my complete my next 10k as fast as I can (hills pending) and will let you know how I get on and if the running bug manages to catch me.

Running

 

I have never been on a diet……

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Or at least that is what I have spent years convincing myself of, as it turns out, it seems I am always on one! I have only realised this recently, but because I don’t do juices/pills/shakes/cabbage soup/grapefruit or any other ‘fad’ or ‘quick fix’ I can convince myself I don’t diet. Whether it’s the 5:2 or low carb/high protein or just long term ‘clean eating’ I am always trying something different. I tried to cut out carbs once, I lasted about 4 days but it made me crave donuts and I never crave donuts, so I thought perhaps that wasn’t the plan for me! I did do a two week detox at the start of January, which basically saw me cut out everything except protein and greens, the hardest bit was waving goodbye to my Tetley but I made it through, I’ve never done it again since, I can’t cope with it!
We all know diets aren’t the answer and that a consistent and healthy approach to eating and exercise is the long term solution, but it doesn’t stop us trying out a new regime to get the body of our dreams.
Unfortunately for me, the body of my dreams will not come from a diet of pizza and wine and this is rather disappointing. I go through phases all the time, for a few months I will eat really, really well, be so disciplined and work out regularly, this leaves me in a cloud of smugness as I see the positive effects this has on my body, but it also leaves me a teeny bit miserable as I find this way of life difficult. When I tell Mike that this regime is about to start, he balks a little as he knows what is to come (tantrums, grumpiness and a very difficult Sherrill to live with!). Why does such a healthy lifestyle have this effect on me – aren’t we supposed to feel invigorated, full of energy and extremely happy when following the ‘correct’ lifestyle path? But I am actually at my happiest when I am eating healthily most of the time but allow myself a (god forbid) sandwich now and then – yes a sandwich, not just any sandwich but a forbidden white bread sandwich with butter and mayonnaise – yum!

cupcakes

There seems to be so many food police about, every time you switch on the TV, look at Facebook or read a magazine, the sugar police are telling you to ‘cut out sugar for good’ or the carb police are advising a ‘high protein lifestyle’ and whatever else is in fashion. I do understand the principles of these ways of life but I can’t bring myself to follow them 24/7 even with promises of a body to rival Cheryl Cole. I admire people who do follow that lifestyle, so much willpower is required, but to me only being allowed 1 cheat meal a week (that’s 1 meal not a whole day of cheats) is quite frankly too depressing, a life without Cadbury’s, Prosecco and Pepperoni Pizza is just way too dismal. Having to check everything I eat, watch every mouthful I consume and spend hours in the kitchen preparing, is not the life for me. Life is too damn short not to enjoy the things you love now and then.

Hopefully it isn’t just me that feels guilty over the non-healthy food I eat and is secretly happier when eating a sponge pudding, or that has a constant internal battle between eating the ‘right things’ consistently to get a leaner body and not eating them and suffering the wobbly bits. I am sure I need to just accept myself as I am (especially after going through so much trauma) and sometimes I manage it, but for now I am starting a new plan tomorrow that doesn’t involve wine or pizza!

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