Monthly Archives: March 2015

My kind of clubbing…….

So, tonight it’s Friday and I have already been clubbing and am about to devour a kebab and it’s only 9.30pm! You must be thinking that either A) I am a lightweight for being home so early (not totally unbelievable), or B) I have been to a really lame club that starts and finishes early or maybe C) that I am a saddo who goes to clubs unfashionably early. Well, the truth is that this was an exercise class! Think Zumba’s big sister but with leg warmers and glow sticks. It was also in the dark, with a few disco lights thrown in, which is great as nobody can see what you’re doing, so it doesn’t matter if you are not following the routines or if you are just in your own clubland world, you can let yourself go.

This is the first workout class I have smiled, rather than grimaced my way through and I didn’t actually feel like I was working out. In the 45 minutes the class lasted I even burnt almost 500 calories, so it’s an awesome workout. Our instructor Naomi was full of enthusiasm and led us through the choreography with fun instructions and even some whoop whoops! We danced along to tracks such as ‘Push It’, ‘Rythymn is a Dancer’ and ‘Let me be your Fantasy’ all reminiscent of 90’s clubbing days! 

The best part is that it is Friday night, yet I feel like I’ve had a bit of a night out but I’m home before midnight and my feet don’t hurt as trainers are the footwear of choice! So, yes you could say this is my kind of clubbing! And to think, I did it all without the aid of a glass or two of bubbly! As I also went with my sister, it felt like even more of a night out, just me and her dancing the night away, if we hadn’t driven there certainly would’ve been some bubbly involved (after of course, not during, well not this time ;)!) 


Get info Here if you’re interested in the class, it also runs on a Monday but I am not sure if I can go clubbing on a school night!! 😉 

Disclaimer: officially my kebab is healthy as its a chicken shish, so I am not undoing all the hard work, but a kebab after a night out is the rules right?! 

  

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An honest account of a woman without children

I decided to write this as my sister tagged me in a great post today about celebrity women who don’t have children and their ‘quotes’ about the situation. (Read it here Here). It got me thinking, I have touched on this before but it is a subject that never really goes away. So I thought I would write about my situation.
I don’t have children, I never wanted them either, I was quite sure about that decision  but I definitely felt a pressure from society to have them. It’s as though my desire to stay child free means I am lacking in someway as a woman. By the time I hit my 30’s I was so god damn Ill with the bloody ulcerative colitis that children were the last thing on my mind. I remember a surgeon worrying about sending me for yet another X-ray as the radiation can affect fertility and I told him not to worry I had been through enough pain I wouldn’t be having a child!!!  
Of course health became more important, better to live a life without children and be healthy than constantly ill (or dead) but with a brood of toddlers. The operations I have had can affect fertility, and in particular the 2nd operation to make my stoma permanent (they remove the rectum completely), they prefer to do after you’ve had your children. But I didn’t have the choice to wait until I had or hadn’t completed my family, I needed the op. My surgeon did say everything looked perfect down there (I’d expect nothing less) but until the point comes of trying for a baby I won’t know if my fertility has been affected or not. 
I am now in a great relationship and who knows whether children will become part of our lives (through choice or not) but I do know the only pressure I feel is that of society. I am 36 so I think that means I only have 3 eggs left, I’ll be an older mum, I don’t want to regret not having them, they give you so much joy and pleasure etc. etc. 
I love that women are becoming more honest about what hard work children are, but of course that’s really scary for us in the undecided camp. Yes everyone says the rewards outweigh the not so good, but do they?? I love sleep, more than anything, I’m not sure I will ever ‘get used’ to 3 hours a night or being jumped in in the morning at 7am, or having to do stuff when I just want to watch tv. 
I like only having to worry about sorting out myself and I won’t apologise for the fact even if it sounds selfish. I like leaving the house when I want, going out for dinner, spending my money on me, having my hair and nails done and taking spa days and holidays. 
Of course there are times when my heart breaks a little at the fact I don’t have children. I see the cute little chubby babies and my heart melts, I see parents talking about the bond, the love they feel & the great times they have with their children. My heart breaks a little when I see the relationship my sister has with her daughter, they are really close and have a kind of secret language & special bond, the sort my sister and I used to have, that’s slowly being taken over by her own daughter. My heart breaks a little when I see all the mums so pleased with their little homemade gifts and cards on Mother’s Day. Yes to be child free has so far been my choice but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt sometimes or tug at my heart strings when I wonder if it’s something I’ll have (or want). Maybe if illness & operations hadn’t got in the way, life would be different, but those things did happen so now I have to deal with it. 
I am also a little obsessed with ‘one more holiday’ before children (apparently you can still go on holiday with children but I’m not sure it’s ok to drink from midday to midnight if you do!). I’m not sure I’ll ever have enough adult holidays!! 
Both my partner and I are very nurturing, we look after each other really well and we have our two little fur babies who we love dearly, but as they are young cats, we can leave them while we go out/go away, I’m not sure that’s acceptable when you have children!
So, my reasons for not having children aren’t cut and dried, just because I haven’t had the longing doesn’t mean I don’t get the heart tug, and just because I love living my life as it is it doesn’t mean I am missing out by not having mini me’s (although how can I deprive this world of another me!!). Some women just don’t have children and that is ok, whatever their reason may be, just please don’t ask every childless woman when she’ll be having babies, it’s not always that simple. 

P.S this kid free bingo made me chuckle, have a glass of champagne for each square, after all you don’t have to get up tomorrow!! 😉 Kid free bingo