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Coming out of the pandemic and feeling sad???

I felt compelled to write on this as I know I am not the only one feeling it. It sounds weird right? I mean, here we are excited to see family and friends and hug them, to live a ‘normal’ life, go to the pub, a nice restaurant, out for coffees, on DATES!!! Maybe, even a concert and fingers crossed A HOLIDAY!!

So why does the thought of coming through the pandemic and back to normal life fill me with some anxiety? It’s obviously become our ‘new normal’, we’ve got used to it even though we are fed up of it. We have laughed at the memes that come out 5 minutes after Boris’s announcements, have loved Chris Whitty ‘next slide please’, are we getting more furlough courtesy of Rishi’s sudden unlimited pot of money, the relief of not having to wash our hair for another day or squeeze into skinny jeans, eating crisps for breakfast (is that just me?) not feeling pressure to go to the gym or on a night out we don’t really want to?

Now, we are facing the societal pressures, the need to dress up and look fancy, commute to the office, bound in with our healthy salad and bouncy hair and quite frankly it just feels a bit too much to be facing. I liken it to a long hospital stay, it’s horrible, not a place you want to be, you want to leave and be in your own home, get your hair done and dance with the girls/boys, but when you are discharged, you feel a bit bereft, not sure what to do, someone isn’t tending to you 24 hours, you have to think about life again, and it’s all, well, a bit strange.

If you are feeling a bit anxious/sad/overwhelmed about coming out of lockdown, then please don’t. You are not alone and I think we all have mixed feelings. The best feeling in the world will be those hugs then swiftly followed by the condensation on a cold glass of champagne on a summer’s day 😉 (jokes it will be hugs, hair then champagne!). 

This third lockdown has got us all a bit feral and we will all come out a bit unkempt, unruly and please for the love of god girls, ditch the bras and the heels (if you choose, but really – ditch them 😉). I mean really, can we stand in solidarity on this one?!

Sure some people will come out with bouncy shiny hair and a six pack, but that doesn’t have to be you, your journey has been different, your life will have been different and if we come out alive (albeit looking like something that fell out of a Yeti’s mouth) then that’s a really positive thing. Your journey will change as we get through the ease of restriction and you will adapt again. And can we learn from it? Say no to things you don’t want to do, negotiate with work for flexi working, go for that promotion/new job, stay at home more if that’s what you want, maybe take the pressure off.

We’ve all been in some kind of bubble and sometimes that’s a sticky, stick to your lips and nose, pink bubblegum bubble and other times it’s been one of those bubbles you blow yourself and create pretty patterns in the sky, but it’s hard to leave a bubble.

All I can say, is life will change again, but we adapted before and will do so again and I always say this…. IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!! So, if you are feeling in two minds (and even feeling a bit guilty about it, as I am) about the situation then I can recommend, putting on some cheesy tunes, just your underwear (you may want to close the blinds, but no judgement if not, it’s only bodies – we all have them!) pour a glass of wine and DANCE IT THE HELL OUT!!

See you on the dancefloor – June 21st 2021 (but can we keep the 10pm curfew for over 40’s please 😉)!!

Getting a Haircut During Lockdown | Haircut Meme on ME.ME

When you think your life has fallen apart…

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7 months ago I was in a solid (more on the solid later, different blog to come) relationship, no financial worries, a gorgeous house, on lovely furlough, 2 gorgeous kitties (that I adopted), yes we may have been in a pandemic, but life looked pretty good??

Well one month on from that I had lost my relationship, my home, my cats, my security, I moved in with my mum (not ideal at 41, but thank goodness for her), I had no idea if I would keep my job, let alone get another one, and no idea where I might live.

My ex and I were ok, no hard feelings but it was still a navigation. I didn’t grieve properly for a number of reasons, I got involved with someone I really shouldn’t have (massive rebound and avoidance of feelings situation) and that in itself caused more issues than I needed to deal with!

However, not all so bad as the gyms re-opened and I could get back to lifting some heavy arsed weights again! I even got some personal bests (not bad considering it had been so long!), think all the grief/rage/shock turned me into the hulk ha ha. So I started feeling like a real bad ass strong woman (physically) which I cannot stress enough does so much for you mentally too.

The ex and I owned a property together which we rented out, so after much deliberation on my part (buy somewhere new, live in the property etc.) I decided to move into the co-owned property. So we had to give notice to a tenant who had been amazing (which is really hard, although said tenant was brilliant about it all). Of course, Covid meant 6 months’ notice (do not disagree with this) but suddenly my 2 months with mum felt like it was going to be a year! Anyway, let us fast forward and the tenant found somewhere and could move out early Dec. So, cue me, going into project management, take after my mum, practical mode.

Book decorators, book electrician, book carpet, blinds, order new furniture (yes everything, I took nothing, not even a bin) co-ordinate it all to turn up in practical arrangements. Of course, Covid had other plans, my decorator got Covid, so that had to be put back, which meant everything else had to be rearranged (obviously completely acceptable lol!). In the meantime, furniture was turning up left right and centre, some at the new house, some at mum’s and some at the ex’s! Phew was that all stressful!

I think in 3 weeks I had all furniture arrive, electrics done, maintenance, heating and gas repairs/new things, new blinds, new carpets and flooring, decoration, flat pack assembled, wi-fi and all technical stuff, plus I packed up from two homes, moved it all with just myself and mum (Cue ‘mum, I appreciate your help but it’s easier if I do it on my own!! I am bad ass remember’!!). Majority of things unpacked all rooms looking gorgeous and cosy. I then spent three weeks on my garden sun lounger in my living room whilst I eagerly awaited the arrival of my new sofa! Anyone else done a Microsoft teams meeting from a sun lounger?!

So yes, you could say it was a stressful time and when I look back I am WTF??? But I have said this before I am my mother’s daughter and roll my sleeves up and get done what needs to be done. I also had some very supportive friends and family that helped. My female work colleagues were also my biggest allies despite us living far apart.

So 6 months on, I live in my gorgeous (very elegantly pink) home, with everything I have chosen myself, with the things I have wanted for so long. I LOVE my new home, I live alone but have found a happiness I didn’t think I could get again. My ex and I are on really good terms and have a really nice relationship which I hope (I am sure we will) will keep,(he has also been very generous and supportive and I love him for that)  I am far more social than before (albeit distanced!), I have my Greek and my Greek group, I have started a side business in travel, I am in fact super productive*

Oh and here is something that has surprised even me….I eat food, not shit diet food, but proper food, I am enjoying food again, you know, not a low calorie meal or a ‘substitute’ I am actually eating food and ENJOYING it, who knew!!

I still miss the gym and can’t wait to pick up some heavy arsed weights again but how the hell I ever got up at 5am most days is beyond me!

But the moral of my story is….  You can have the shittiest time (and please don’t be afraid to reach out to friends or professionals if you are) but that life can turn around in just 6 months! It does get better, hang on in there, look to the future with a positive vibe, get help if you need it but just know that life does and will get better – that I can promise you.

And, if you are wondering what this has to do with a stoma, the F* all but it’s just another thing you have to deal with in the literall shit storm of your life – but even that can be navigated! And if you are wondering what happens when a long term romance breaks down and you have stoma, what next……I have good news for you but you’ll have to tune in again 😉

(*Disclaimer I also spend a lot of time on the sofa eating carbs and watching rubbish TV!)