When you think your life has fallen apart…


7 months ago I was in a solid (more on the solid later, different blog to come) relationship, no financial worries, a gorgeous house, on lovely furlough, 2 gorgeous kitties (that I adopted), yes we may have been in a pandemic, but life looked pretty good??

Well one month on from that I had lost my relationship, my home, my cats, my security, I moved in with my mum (not ideal at 41, but thank goodness for her), I had no idea if I would keep my job, let alone get another one, and no idea where I might live.

My ex and I were ok, no hard feelings but it was still a navigation. I didn’t grieve properly for a number of reasons, I got involved with someone I really shouldn’t have (massive rebound and avoidance of feelings situation) and that in itself caused more issues than I needed to deal with!

However, not all so bad as the gyms re-opened and I could get back to lifting some heavy arsed weights again! I even got some personal bests (not bad considering it had been so long!), think all the grief/rage/shock turned me into the hulk ha ha. So I started feeling like a real bad ass strong woman (physically) which I cannot stress enough does so much for you mentally too.

The ex and I owned a property together which we rented out, so after much deliberation on my part (buy somewhere new, live in the property etc.) I decided to move into the co-owned property. So we had to give notice to a tenant who had been amazing (which is really hard, although said tenant was brilliant about it all). Of course, Covid meant 6 months’ notice (do not disagree with this) but suddenly my 2 months with mum felt like it was going to be a year! Anyway, let us fast forward and the tenant found somewhere and could move out early Dec. So, cue me, going into project management, take after my mum, practical mode.

Book decorators, book electrician, book carpet, blinds, order new furniture (yes everything, I took nothing, not even a bin) co-ordinate it all to turn up in practical arrangements. Of course, Covid had other plans, my decorator got Covid, so that had to be put back, which meant everything else had to be rearranged (obviously completely acceptable lol!). In the meantime, furniture was turning up left right and centre, some at the new house, some at mum’s and some at the ex’s! Phew was that all stressful!

I think in 3 weeks I had all furniture arrive, electrics done, maintenance, heating and gas repairs/new things, new blinds, new carpets and flooring, decoration, flat pack assembled, wi-fi and all technical stuff, plus I packed up from two homes, moved it all with just myself and mum (Cue ‘mum, I appreciate your help but it’s easier if I do it on my own!! I am bad ass remember’!!). Majority of things unpacked all rooms looking gorgeous and cosy. I then spent three weeks on my garden sun lounger in my living room whilst I eagerly awaited the arrival of my new sofa! Anyone else done a Microsoft teams meeting from a sun lounger?!

So yes, you could say it was a stressful time and when I look back I am WTF??? But I have said this before I am my mother’s daughter and roll my sleeves up and get done what needs to be done. I also had some very supportive friends and family that helped. My female work colleagues were also my biggest allies despite us living far apart.

So 6 months on, I live in my gorgeous (very elegantly pink) home, with everything I have chosen myself, with the things I have wanted for so long. I LOVE my new home, I live alone but have found a happiness I didn’t think I could get again. My ex and I are on really good terms and have a really nice relationship which I hope (I am sure we will) will keep,(he has also been very generous and supportive and I love him for that)  I am far more social than before (albeit distanced!), I have my Greek and my Greek group, I have started a side business in travel, I am in fact super productive*

Oh and here is something that has surprised even me….I eat food, not shit diet food, but proper food, I am enjoying food again, you know, not a low calorie meal or a ‘substitute’ I am actually eating food and ENJOYING it, who knew!!

I still miss the gym and can’t wait to pick up some heavy arsed weights again but how the hell I ever got up at 5am most days is beyond me!

But the moral of my story is….  You can have the shittiest time (and please don’t be afraid to reach out to friends or professionals if you are) but that life can turn around in just 6 months! It does get better, hang on in there, look to the future with a positive vibe, get help if you need it but just know that life does and will get better – that I can promise you.

And, if you are wondering what this has to do with a stoma, the F* all but it’s just another thing you have to deal with in the literall shit storm of your life – but even that can be navigated! And if you are wondering what happens when a long term romance breaks down and you have stoma, what next……I have good news for you but you’ll have to tune in again 😉

(*Disclaimer I also spend a lot of time on the sofa eating carbs and watching rubbish TV!)

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