I have mentioned dating in my previous blog and I think dating in a pandemic is really hard! I mean, what do you do, wait for the pandemic to end before you navigate the dating scene or just give it a virtual try and see what happens??
If there is something I have learnt from the last few months, I DO NOT need a man for happiness, I have independence, my own home, a good job, a side business, amazing colleagues, supportive friends and the most delicious (in my mum’s words ‘dollies house’) house!! I am incredibly happy, so for a man to fit in, he really needs to enhance that experience, not just show up and expect me to be grateful!
Anyway, as I said before (being the independent woman that I now am) decided to go on tinder 😉 – it was an experience – BUT a guy slid into my Facebook DM’s (we already knew each other from years ago but hadn’t seen each other for years) and asked if I remembered him, what was someone like me doing on a dating app and he thought he would bypass Tinder and go straight for messenger to see if he could ‘jump the queue’. Well somehow, that made me really laugh and he had me at ‘jump the queue’ 😉
So we spent a good month chatting on messenger, then WhatsApp, video chat etc. We (socially distanced) met to see if we liked each other in person (I mean, we might have terrified each other in real life, so it was good to check we didn’t before we were down a rabbit hole of 6 months facetiming, later!) then I was quite clear that I would be bubbling with my sister for a while. So, queue yet another month or so of phone calls/facetime and messaging.
Of course, in lockdown, there isn’t much you can do other than video call, when we did, we would both pretty much be in casual wear or PJ’s, I think because we had spent so much time speaking and getting to know each other we were just that comfortable. Plus, I did nothing but laugh when we chatted, which was such a welcome relief.
I have spoken to a few other people who have met during lockdown and it’s a similar situation. I call it ‘Dating in Reverse’. Normally you meet someone and it’s all awkward first dates, worrying about your outfit, what to talk about etc. it takes ages until you feel comfy enough to swap your skinny jeans for PJ’s, read your book in bed or just binge watch TV. But here we are in this pandemic and we are getting to know the person in depth due to the amount of calls/facetime etc. This isn’t something you usually do when you can date under normal conditions. It’s a while until you get to the ‘comfy’ stage.
So at the moment, we are (all of those dating) getting to the comfy stage really early, which I think is due to that phenomenon of actually getting to know someone! But it feels easy, comfortable and relaxed and I genuinely think that’s such a good thing. Plus, we have the actual dating bit to look forward to (dating in reverse!), wow, imagine, if you like someone with bad hair, PJ’s, a penchant for lazing around, binge watching TV (I mean this is just me!), how much better will they be when we are all dressed up with haircuts?! (Or maybe not, stranger things have happened to put us off people 😉!)
So, how are things going with ‘jump the queue’ guy, well you will just have to tune in for more, but he can cook – really well (more on that later), makes me laugh all the time and we are enjoying each other’s company and are both happy. Plus, we both have the biggest love for ‘The Big Bang Theory’, which I love as it’s one of my fave shows!! We will see how it goes and hopefully decent clothes and good haircuts won’t put us off! 😉
All I will say is that ‘Dating in reverse’ has taught me some stuff, it is so worth spending time getting to know someone, more talking, less ‘dating’, can you hold an 8 hour conversation (yes myself and ‘jump the queue guy’ have done that, I may also have had a little nap in the middle!)? But, if you can find yourself doing that, still laughing, still reluctant to put down the phone, then that’s only a good thing. 🙂