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Rejection from women to women is so much worse than man to woman!

So as a single being (sort of lol. Jump the queue Guy is still very much in the picture!) I want to increase  my social circle. Admittedly, this is something I will openly admit to being really bad at, no  matter what my circumstance.

My absolute best friend Lisa and I have a typical ‘best friend’ relationship, don’t speak for months, but if you need each other, you are there in a heart beat, or, you don’t speak for months but when you get together nothing has changed. (She has cleaned my teeth for me when I was too ill to do it myself and in childhood, always wore the green nightie from the dress up box as I insisted on wearing the red one – that my friends is true love!!).

But over the last couple of years, I realised I had started to become insular and made less effort to make friends. My job entails me working from home, so I don’t even get ‘office banter’. I have been really lucky that my work colleagues are more friends (and I have said before) have helped me through these last few months, but we don’t live near each other so I can’t just pop to a garden for coffee.

I 100% wish my work peoples lived nearby as I know we would have an amazing group, but we don’t so hey ho! I didn’t go to uni, so don’t have those ‘life long friends’, I was bullied at school, so fuck keeping in touch with the wrong people (although I am in touch with some school friends, Laura Jones by far the best!) and I haven’t had kids so no school mum friends. Also, working from home makes it hard to meet people, although I have a very good relationship with the characters from Grey’s anatomy and the Chicago trilogy!!

So I am doggedly determined to meet new people and form new friendships. There is no Tinder for ‘friends’ (and why not??) so how, in this day and age do you meet people? But, have you ever asked out a woman (platonically) and been ghosted or kept on hold so to speak and it is sooooo much worse than if a man does it. Why? I am not sure but I am nothing if not persistent and I will keep exploring options. But, whilst I appreciate I need to make an effort, I will not be rejected more than once, for any sex, so I will keep you updated on my quest to find female friends! Finding men is easy, but finding your ‘crew’ is not easy but in the end so worth it! 😊

Any BTW, this picture is my female soulmate 😉 xx

Life update…

My last blog I spoke about the adoption of a cat, so what’s happened since I can hear you cry!

So ‘jump the queue guy’ is still very much in the picture, the meals he cooks me are epic, he even makes extra for the family and my ex (is it weird that my new squeeze makes food for my ex and his new GF?!). I mean neither of us think so, we are all benefitting ha ha.

I have said before, the ex and I have a great relationship which is really fab. It’s nice we are still in each other’s lives in such a lovely way and I always appreciate that as it can be really hard to have a good relationship after a breakup.

 I am also working on my holiday business which I love so much, I have my Greek that I continue to learn (plus my fellow Greek group friends), my blog, my family and I am making much more of an effort to be with friends (albeit, facetime, walks or social distancing coffees). I still need to work on this bit as I tend to get a bit lazy but it’s so important to me to do this and expand my horizons.

I do still have emotional days, it’s been 8 months since the breakup, but I avoided processing anything for a good few months, so, yes, it’s going to hit me here and there, it’s fine, it’s all part of the process. In fact, a couple of weekends ago I spent the whole weekend crying. It started with an episode of ‘The Good Doctor’ and ended with a ‘Star is Born’ (if you are feeling emotional, then go all out and watch something that makes you cry until you can’t breathe!).

So, ‘Jump the Queue guy’ phoned me on an emotional night, he wasn’t feeling well, but here is the lovely thing, he listened to my woes, didn’t try to take over the convo (in that competition type way!!) gave me loads of reassuring words and I came off the phone laughing and feeling better. He didn’t even try to do the ‘man logic thing’ of trying to solve the problem, he actually listened! So not only can he cook, but he also listens. I guess what I am trying to say is that he is patient and understanding, it’s refreshing.

As you know, I also have Binky Zazzles, she is now venturing outside like a brave little solder, first time she went out I was having many panic moments, but she comes home, so we’re ok! We have completely bonded and are incredibly happy! She is definitely my cat soul mate!

So my update is this, life is really bloody good, I am so happy, I am doing so much that I avoided before, I have everything I want/need, yes I have emotional/grieving days, it’s natural, but they will get less but on the whole life is good.

If you want to change something in your life, whatever that is, it is going to be soooooo hard and that is probably what is stopping you making the change, but nothing worth having is easy. It will be hard but you will come through it – it is so worth it! So, if you are thinking about – just do it, the other good side is waiting for you! 😉

We all knew the cat would come…

For those that have followed my (very varied!) journey will know how much I miss my cats, or ‘the babies’ as we referred to them. Now, bear in mind there would be no cats if it was not for me (long story), but the ex is very caring and loves them as much as I do that it made sense for him to have custody (fyi, their birth certificates are in my name 😉!). But I don’t need to worry about them as I know they are in great hands and I get visitation rights 😉. Of course, leaving them broke my heart, it still does, but knowing they are well looked after helps.

Anyway, I moved into my new house, got it all redecorated and refurbished, it’s pristine, beautiful and just so, so lovely. I was adamant I would not get a cat, I mean, I have paid a lot of money for new carpets, furniture, etc. I need a while before a cat comes and scratches it all……

I love living alone, I forgot how nice it was, how I sleep so neatly my bed covers barely move, housework takes 45 mins because there is hardly anything to clean, I only remember to put a wash on because I have run out of socks….but it feels a little empty. I remember renting many years ago and being desperate for a cat but couldn’t get one (due to said renting) but knew it would be fab to have a little furry purrer! Fast forward to meeting the ex and we had an adopted cat (you know, the neighbourhood one that touts its paws around town!) then we got kittens (aka ‘the babies’, still known to this day as the babies even though they are 7!).

Then, there I am, minding my own business when a friend messaged me on Facebook asking if I would consider rehoming her cat as she was moving and couldn’t take her, she wanted to know she would go to a loving home and thought of me! I asked for a couple of days to think about it, but within the hour I just said yes (I mean, I could have pretended to think for a day or two, but we all know I was going to say yes!).

So up turns Binky, the most gorgeous, sweet little thing, (there were tears on the doorstep from myself and owner, my god is that hard but she also gets visitation rights 😉!).  She is doing very well and is super confident already. (The cat, not previous owner!).

I have given her a middle name, ‘Zazzles’…. Why you ask? Well, myself and ‘jump the queue guy’ as I have mentioned, love The Big Bang Theory, there was an episode where Sheldon adopted loads of cats (he couldn’t understand he was feeling emotion so replaced his feelings with cats!) and they were all named after scientists, except one cat he names Zazzles because ‘she’s so zazzy’, well for some reason that tickled us so much and I said, if I get a pet I am calling it zazzles, so it was just apt that Binky got a middle name!

My fab work colleagues have heard all about the cat and they all refer to her as Zazzles which makes me laugh and is very apt! None of them were surprised that I adopted one either! Also, Binky Zazzles and Jump the queue guy have bonded which is a good sign and he really likes her lol.

So, I feel life is complete, new home, new start and now a cat which is my purrfect (sorry!)  match as she is very chatty, needs attention and likes the mirror – sound like anyone you know?! 😊