I am an odd human being, you see, I am in my 30’s (been in them a while) and I do not have children and nor am I married and this seems to warrant much bewilderment among, well, everyone. It seems it is very unusual indeed to be this person, I don’t think it is, but the way people act you would think that it is as unusual as an Alien landing on Earth. I have a boyfriend and we live together but it seems this isn’t enough in the world of people. I am sure there are many women out there who can relate to this, but I am ALWAYS being asked, ‘when are you getting married?’, ‘do you want to get married?’, ‘do you think he will propose?’ ‘does he want to get married?’ ‘do you think you will have children’ ‘do you want children’…..you get the picture.
Of course it isn’t just me that suffers with these questions, married women without children are asked the child question, married women with 1 child are asked if they want more children, pregnant women are asked when the next one will be. Men do not have this problem, men talk to men about football and boobs and computers. Have you ever seen a man get into conversation with another man and ask him, ‘so then mate, when you having children?’. I am not saying it doesn’t happen but certainly not as frequently as it does for us women.
It seems that you hit your 30’s (I don’t remember it being a frequent problem in my 20’s) and your ovaries are suddenly everyone else’s business. Why do complete strangers feel it is ok to question my marriage and child preferences? Those who have read my blog or who know me, will know that I am not a secretive person, I am very open, perhaps a bit too much sometimes. I would love to be one of those mysterious types, the sort of person others find intriguing because I am such an unknown entity, but sadly I just like to reveal stuff about myself whether or not people want to know!
I am not saying I am completely innocent, I have probably been guilty of asking women myself in the past, but since I have been the subject of much interrogation I am very aware of it and do not ask unless it seems it is appropriate. Plus, who knows what a woman may be going through, how do you know she isn’t trying for a baby but is having difficulty conceiving, bringing up the subject could cause a great deal of upset and hurt.
But what baffles me the most is people’s incessant desire to know such things, is it because they are a bit stressed with their brood and want you to be too, or are they indescribably happy and want you to have the same happiness, or are they just plain nosy? Whatever it is, it drives me crazy and I don’t know what the fascination is. It just seems that unless you are married with two children over the age of 5 you are not immune to the questioning on marriage and children.
What I will say is that I am not married (or engaged, noooo of course this doesn’t bother me ;)! ), but it also means I am not saving for a wedding and can instead spend my money on shoes, clothes and lovely holidays. I will also say that currently I do not have children which means that I can have lovely lie-ins, I can go on holiday on a whim (I would never do that, I can only cope with planned spontaneity, but I could if I wanted!) I can go out to dinner any day of the week without planning it, instead of buying toys I can buy more shoes and clothes and best of all I can drink my beloved bubbly any day of the week if I want to and if I have a hangover, the day is all mine!
I can confirm that this seasons must have accessory is……an Ostomy bag!! Ok so maybe we’re not quite ‘there’ yet but Ostomy’s are really on the radar at the moment and so they should be. I have always spoken of my desire to raise awareness and reduce stigma and lately this is happening in droves. All thanks to some very brave ladies posting pictures of themselves in bikinis with their Ostomies on display, one has even become an internet sensation.
It’s all great news and every time I click onto Facebook I see another picture of a proud wearer of an Ostomy bag, to the point where I feel it is almost becoming ‘normal’. Perhaps I see it as I am a member of many Ostomy related forums and so it is more prominent, but I do really think that it is becoming a little bit fashionable! (Dare I say that?!) Soon enough everyone will want one, they will become the ultimate accessory, fashion magazines will feature them and those who don’t have them will be a teeny bit jealous.
Ok, so I am exaggerating but it certainly feels as though society is becoming more geared up to the fact that many young people have an Ostomy. It is all just fantastic. And should you be a person (young, old or middle aged) facing an Ostomy then isn’t it great to see so much positivity and realise that life isn’t over because you have one. I said before, when I was facing my operation to have an Ostomy, there was none of this publicity and I know it would have made me feel better if I had seen it.
So it’s all good news, however, when I started this blog it wasn’t going to be totally focused around my Ostomy, (there are plenty of very good ones out there for that) the intention was to talk about life in general so that hopefully everyone could relate to it some way and maybe I could take reassurance that as a 30 something year old woman, I wasn’t the only one doing what I do!
So I will be blogging again in the next couple of days, this blog will be about knickers among other things (I hope this subject will intrigue you and draw you back!)But for now I just wanted everyone to know that I, not Vogue, had said it first, what this Season’s must have accessory is!!